When I got out of the bus, I wondered if it really was going to be exactly as I had written down, months and months ago. Did it really have to rain this hard? I mean, sure, I love rain. And yes, it's quite romantic. But before I even reached the sidewalk, I was soaking wet. Why didn't I buy a waterproof coat?

I love fall. The leaves, the smells, the rain... but as I walked towards his house, I wasn't sure this was exactly how I wanted it. my legs just didn't seem to be able to decide whether they wanted to speed up or slow down. This was it. I was here. I was already dreaming of this moment when the leaves were still on the trees and the sun was still able to tan my skin. And yet, now that I was here, I was so afraid. Because, you know, this was it.

I sought comfort in that silly vision I'd been having. Him, me, sitting on the balcony of our little apartment in the elderly home. We'd both be old and grey and we knew our lives were almost over. And I would look at him, and think, yes, this was the life I wanted. He was there. He had been there, all the time, the good, the bad. And I'd be happy. I'd have made the right choice, and I wouldn't doubt, not even for a single moment.

Well, back to the present. I wasn't 80 yet, after all. I'm only 25, and I was getting dangerously close to his door. I could already see the roof of his house. Would he even be home? I mean sure, I checked, and he was online on msn, but damn, he always kept that program running even when he was out. It'd kind of suck if he wasn't there, especially with this downpour.

My heart was beating uncontrollably now. Within moments I'd ring the doorbell to the rest of my life. How insane was that? I mean, sure, of course, it'd be him waiting for me. But it would also mark the end of all the doubts, of the fear, of the not knowing. It'd be tomorrow... no, tomorrow would become today. Tomorrow was today.

So there I was. Standing in front of his door, soaking wet, my coat and my sweater and my pants as wet as if they'd just come out of the laundry. My hair surely was a mess- why did it always get so frizzy from the rain? My God, what would he even think when he opened the door? I'd turn me away, if I was him.

My hand was literally shaking when I pressed the door bell. Did I have no self control? I remembered the ugly fight I'd had just hours ago. It had been so painful... I never wanted to hurt people I care about. I never wanted to be in that situation. But I just had to... because living a lie was ultimately hurting everyone even more. Including me. And while I could live with hurting myself, I could not live with hurting him, and I know this situation was hurting him.

I heard someone move inside. My God, he was home. Why was I even surprised? Of course he was home. But it scared me. Hearing him rush to open the door just made me realize even more... that this was it. The end of the old. The beginning of the new. Through the window, I could see him rush down the stairs. It was him. He was there. I was home.

When he opened the door, I first couldn't even look at him, as I was afraid I'd start crying again. Not that I minded him seeing me cry, but, well, there was so much I wanted to say, and I couldn't quite do that if I was sobbing my eyes out.
“What...” I heard him say. And I looked up.

I saw his eyes, and I know he saw me. And just like that, I didn't have anything to explain anymore. There was nothing to say. He knew. I knew. All the reasons I was here. I already wrote them down, he already read them, but now, they were real. I was there. He was there. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Please don't let me slip away... ever again...” I whispered, not looking away from him.
He just pulled me close to him and softly, tenderly, his lips touched mine. I know I kissed him before. That first time... it had been amazing. It had been the kiss I had always dreamed off, paired with a flood of emotions that had been building up for years. But this? This kiss was a confirmation of all the dreams and thoughts and feelings I'd had the past few months. It had never been better.

I seriously can't tell you how long it lasted. It could have been a minute. Or a day. I don't know. I don't care. I had forgotten about the rain and my soaked clothes. Well, I had, until, finally, he let go of me. And neither of us could do anything but smile like idiots. Of course, that was the moment my body decided to speak up, and I began to shiver.

“I...” I stammered, still unable to speak properly.
“Don't you... need... dry clothes?” Well, he caught on quickly.
“And a shower.” I smiled. Man, I'd kill for some warm water right about now. Not him, of course.
“Come on then.” He smiled as he took my hand. I stepped inside and he closed the door behind me.

He led me up to his bathroom.
“Take all the time you need. I'll be waiting in my room.” He said.
“Sure.” I already knew I wouldn't take long. I wanted to be with him. But... somehow, I was here now. I could take a shower and calm down. I was home, after all.
“Oh, do you maybe... have like a t-shirt? I may have... well, I didn't bring any clothes.” I smiled.

“Sure. Hang on.” He was back in a minute with a silly orange shirt. Well, I'd seen that one before. And now I got to wear it. Eep.
“Thanks.” I managed to whisper before I closed the bathroom door. I even locked it. Didn't I want him to come in? I didn't understand myself. Well... I did. Want him to come in. I wouldn't mind at all. But with him... I could also be by myself. And I needed that right now, even if only for five minutes.

So I took off my clothes and embraced the warm water for a little while. I was here. And you know what? I could believe it. This was it. Standing there by myself, I just closed my eyes a little bit, and I didn't dream anymore. I still had so many dreams, but I knew now they'd come true. I believed. There was very little in the world I believed this strongly in.

I turned off the shower when my body had stopped shivering, and I grabbed one of his towels. I didn't know i could dry myself off that quickly, but before I knew it I was wearing his t shirt and I was dry, and my hair was no longer frizzy and I was perfectly fine.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I didn't see him, but I saw light coming from his room, so I guessed that's where he was. It's what he said. So I quietly approached his room. He was lying on his bed, his tv on. I recognized the DVD menu, and I couldn't help but smile. He remembered. Of course he remembered.

“I... I'm done. Thanks.” I smiled. He smiled back.
“Come here.” Was all he said, and all he needed to say. I crawled up to him, and he put his wonderful arms around me. He kissed me again. This time, it was more powerful. I was there, in his arms, and I was his, and he knew it. He pressed play. And as the sun rose above the savannah, I knew I was home.