A child's tears

Kiyoi was still asleep when Taira stepped out of the house into the morning dew. It was weird, sleeping without Fjaril next to her. She woke up cold and shivering, so she decided to get out of bed even though she knew it was still way too early to get up. The sun had barely touched the horizon, and the air smelled refreshed and clean.

The day before had simply been too long, Taira reflected. Like today, she had been unable to sleep, but for other reasons. She had been so worried over Kiyoi and whether he was doing okay she had barely slept at all, so she had gotten up at first light and trotted off to the little house on the border of the forest.

She had found her cart next to the house. Twinkle Star was still on it, covered by a blanket of leaves. Kiyoi had fallen asleep on the couch, and judging by his red eyes he had cried himself to sleep. She had made him some warm tea, but before she had been able to do anything else Fjaril and Yuuro had shown up- the other two ponies had stayed in the village.

During the day, the three of them had tried to explain what had happened on the night of the daylight star. They didn't understand everything themselves though, but Taira truly hoped their explanation would be enough to ease Kiyoi's mind. He agreed with them that Twinkle Star would never have let Câlin take the risk. It was not something that could have been avoided... but that did not make things easier. That she sacrificed her life to make the world survive only made looking at every living and growing thing that much harder.

They had agreed to bury Twinkle Star in the forest later today. The nurse would come with Câlin and Meran, and Fjaril and Yuuro would inform as many ponies as possible in the village. Taira had agreed to stay behind and help Kiyoi prepare for everything, though she suspected he just didn't want to be alone.

“Hey... you're up too.” Kiyoi greeted her as he stepped out of the house.
“Yes... I couldn't exactly sleep.” Taira admitted.
“Neither could I. This will be a hard day...” Taira couldn't disagree with that. Kiyoi stared at the cart in front of the house.
“I suppose we should start digging the grave. Will you help me?” He asked.

Of course, Taira agreed, so she followed Kiyoi slightly into the forest. They soon came upon a slightly open space, closed in by trees but wide enough to let the sun shine through the roof of the trees.
“This was her favorite place... I often found her here, reading a book or just relaxing.”
“It's perfect.” Taira agreed as she stepped into the clearing.

Kiyoi walked around a bit and then, without a word, started digging. Taira didn't ask but simply joined in. Together they dug for about two hours, without saying a word. There was nothing to say, and the act of digging somehow soothed their minds. When they were done, the sun was almost high in the sky.

“We should get back.” Was the first thing Kiyoi said to break the silence.
“Yea. You're right. The others will probably be here soon.”
Taira agreed as she shook the dust off her coat. She started to walk back, but she noticed Kiyoi wasn't moving. He just stared at the dark hole in the ground they had just dug, and the pile of earth next to it.

“She'll rest well here.” Taira said, trying to comfort him.
“I know. I just wish she didn't have to.”
“We all do.” Taira replied as she stepped off the path. She heard Kiyoi follow her. It was going to be a beautiful day, Taira realized as she saw the rays of sun caressing the forest floor. A beautiful, sunny, dark day...

When they entered the open square, Taira heard the voices from the other side of the bushes, and she knew Fjaril and the others had arrived. When they came into view, Taira saw the nurse was there as well, with the little girls. Câlin walked in the back, staring at the ground, but Meran was chatting happily with the nurse. She doesn't understand death, Taira realized.

“Daddy!” Meran yelled when she spotted her father, and trotted towards Kiyoi.
Câlin followed her young sister at a much lower pace. Taira was amazed at how horrible Câlin looked. She seemed to have lost half her weight, her coat was dull and her eyes were so... dark. She just stared at the ground, completely oblivious to all the ponies around her.

“Hello, Meran.” Kiyoi smiled as he held his daughter tight.
“They said mommy's back!” Meran smiled cheerfully.
“Where is she daddy? You know I missed her so!” Meran was so excited she could barely stand still. Taira was grateful she was not in Kiyoi's place right now.
“Meran, I...” Kiyoi sighed deeply.

“Yes, mommy is back. However... come with me, Meran. You too, Câlin.” Kiyoi said solemnly as he walked towards the cart. The two children followed him, each in their own way. Câlin knew what she was about to see, so she wasn't as anxious as Meran. Would she understand, even after seeing the body? Taira wasn't sure if she was old enough to be able to.

Kiyoi lifted the blanket, exposing Twinkle Star's body. Her coat was still pink, but with her eyes closed it seemed as if she was simply far away, lost in an endless dream.
“You see, Câlin, Meran... your mother's body is back, but her spirit has departed from this world.” Kiyoi whispered softly, so Taira could barely hear him speak.

“What do you mean?” Meran asked, utterly confused.
“I mean that... even though mommy is back with us now, she is not here anymore. So today we... we will give her back to the forest. So that even though we can not see her anymore... a part of her will always be with us. In the forest, in the trees... mommy will always be with us from now on.”

“But... she'll come to tuck me in still, right?” Meran asked.
“I... no, honey. She won't.” Kiyoi was forced to say.
“N...never?” Meran asked.
 “No. I'm afraid not.” Taira could see Kiyoi was crying now as he bend down and held his daughter.
“But... I don't want that daddy. I want mommy to read to me and tuck me in...” Meran sobbed.

“I know you do honey... I know you do. But mommy can't do that anymore. We have to give her back to the earth now.”
“Why?”
“Because that's what mommy wants to do now. It's her last wish. Will you help daddy grant it?” Kiyoi asked.
“Yes... okay.” Meran said as her father let go. Kiyoi looked at Câlin, but the older girl was just staring at the ground.

“Shall we pull the cart?” Fjaril offered.
 “Yes. Thank you.” Kiyoi said.
Fjaril and Yuuro stepped forward and when Twinkle Star was covered by the blanket once more, they pulled the cart, following Kiyoi and the two girls into the forest. Taira followed together with the nurse and the other ponies. Only now she noticed a few other ponies had come who she didn't even know, but who were undoubtedly friends of Twinkle Star and Kiyoi.

It didn't take them long before they reached the clearing. Yuuro and Fjaril put the cart next to the grave and then stepped back. For a moment, all they heard was the rustling of the leaves and the soft breaths of the ponies that had gathered in the clearing. Then Kiyoi stepped forward and stood next to the cart. He closed his eyes and began to talk.

“A few weeks ago, the daylight star appeared in the sky. As I watched it burn bright, I thought it was beautiful. It shone day and night, and it reminded me. It reminded me of you, Twinkle Star. Because like the Daylight star shone as bright as you did, every day ever since I first met you.

Because when I first met you, Twinkle Star, it weren't your wings that drew my attention. I barely even noticed them. What I noticed was the pure perfection, the light burning in your eyes behind all the things that troubled you so. That light only burned brighter when we lived here, the four of us together, us and our beautiful daughters.

You are now free from physical chains, my Twinkle Star. Even in the depth of night, your lantern will still shine for me and enlighten my paths. You will always be the one for me, Twinkle Star, even if you are now spreading your wings in the eternal Heavens and I am still bound to this earth. One day, Twinkle Star, we will be together again. But I promise you, that day will not come before I have done all the things I have promised you to do.

I will raise both your daughters, Twinkle Star. I will raise Meran and Câlin so that they become as wonderful and strong as you were. I will watch over them and protect them as you always did. I will teach them and show them that this world is beautiful. I promise you, Twinkle Star, I will not see you before I fulfilled that promise to you.”

Kiyoi stepped back towards his daughters and held each of them closely for a moment. Taira felt like it was her moment to say something now, so she stepped forward.
“Twinkle Star, I... I owe you so much. If it wasn't for you, I would still be bound to the will of Aras. I'd still live in the shadows... no, all of us would now live in the shadows and be swallowed by the darkness. I owe you my life, and my freedom, Twinkle Star.

What you did... there will be so many ponies who will not understand. They will not realize how it is that you saved us all, paying with your life. They will not see how good you were within, because they will not have known you. But I promise you, Twinkle Star, I will not have you forgotten. I will make everyone remember what you did. I will let the entire world know that the sun rises because you allowed it to.

So I thank you, Twinkle Star. I thank you for giving us a second chance. And I promise you, I will protect this world. I will make sure sacrifices like the one you were forced to make will never have to be made again. I promise you, Twinkle Star... so please, rest in peace.” Taira bowed before the cart before she retreated to her old place.

Kiyoi nodded to Fjaril, who then proceeded to lower the cart. Together with Yuuro and two other men, they lowered Twinkle Star's body into the grave. Kiyoi stepped forward and put the first bit of earth over her body. Câlin followed and did the same, her face emotionless. Meran was up next accompanied by the nurse, but when she gazed into the grave she took a few steps back.

“Daddy... mommy can't see the flowers from here!” She said, panicking. Kiyoi walked towards his daughter.
“She will be able to. She will become one with the forest, so she can see all the flowers every single year.” He said in an effort to comfort his little girl.
“But then she... she really won't come read to me anymore...” Meran whispered before she started crying.

“No... I'm so sorry, little one, but she won't anymore. But daddy is here for you. I won't ever leave you two, I promise.” Kiyoi said while holding his two girls.
“I miss her daddy...” Meran sobbed while the ponies slowly began to leave the clearing.
Taira couldn't make herself move away. She didn't want to leave Kiyoi alone- even he needed someone now. She knew it wasn't her place to comfort him, but she wouldn't know who else would.

“Now, you two, go to the nurse, okay? She'll take you home. Daddy will be there soon.” Kiyoi said as he let go.
“Promise, daddy?” Meran asked.
“I promise. Now, run along.” Meran began to walk away, but then turned around and trotted to the grave.
“Good bye, mommy. I'll come visit you soon again. Meran promises that.”

The girl then trotted after her older sister who hadn't looked back. Confident that the girls would be brought home safely, Taira turned around.
“Will you be okay on your own?” she asked when she saw Kiyoi staring at the grave.
“Yes. I'll be okay. I will close it up myself... I just need some time alone with her before I do.”

“I understand. I'll go to your house then and wait there with all the others. You take your time, okay?”
“I will. Thank you, Taira. Also for your speech. It was lovely. She would have appreciated it... although most likely she wouldn't have agreed with you.” Kiyoi smiled.
“I guess so... she was too modest for that. Well... good luck. Take your time.”

Taira smiled one last time and then turned around to leave. She didn't expect to see anyone, but through the bushes she saw the dark wings that could only belong to one person. Why was Câlin still there? She walked towards the path and saw Câlin standing there, looking at her father who was sitting next to Twinkle Star's grave.

Of course, Câlin noticed her. But she didn't acknowledge her until Taira had almost reached her. Câlin slowly turned her head. Taira almost gasped when she saw the emptiness in Câlin's eyes, the darkness that came out of her soul, hidden deep inside her.
“Câlin! Come on dear!” The nurse yelled when she had noticed Câlin had lingered. The little winged girl turned, but not before she had gazed deeply into Taira's eyes. She didn't say the words, but Taira could hear them none the less. I will never forgive you, princess of the Friendship Lands...