The day I met my mother

Holding Meran's drawing, Twinkle Star stood in front of the large doors of the throne room. Taira had not exaggerated when she said this castle was something else. When Twinkle Star had first seen the new castle she had to look twice, she couldn't believe they had build this in only three years. Had everyone inside changed as much?

Once more, Twinkle Star remembered the day she had departed. Câlin had just been silent, but Meran had cried, not understanding why her mother would leave her for so long. For such a small child, a few months looked like an eternity, and to be honest for her mother it did, too. The first few days had been so painful. Taira had all but forbidden her to look at the wonderful drawing Meran had made for her grandmother.

It portrayed their house, their family, the forest, the river... I want grandma to see how we live. The smile on her face when Meran handed her this was something she wouldn't forget. For a moment, Twinkle Star had even wondered whether she should take Meran with her. The girl wasn't banished, after all, and she was sure Regina would like to see her. But it wouldn't be fair to Câlin, and the journey was way too long for a child her age. She couldn't fly like Meran could.

So Twinkle Star had left them both behind with their father, while she had gone with Taira and Ruki. The journey had been uneventful, but the weather had been nice and the ponies friendly, so it hadn't been bad. She could have made the distance so much faster if she had flown, but she hadn't used her wings on long distances for such a long time now, she hadn't dared- not to mention she preferred traveling together with her sister and niece.

Setting a hoof in the Friendship Lands again had felt so weird- when she had left all those years ago, she had sworn she would never come back. Yet here she was, about to face to her mother in a castle she swore she'd never visit. The dark hallway was lit by torches only, for outside everything was dark. They had walked all day so they could be in the castle by nightfall- Twinkle Star had preferred to take it easy, but Taira had wanted to go home so badly. Her husband and daughter were waiting for her, something Twinkle Star understood all too well.

Her mother was still working. It didn't surprise her; Regina had always worked hard. Twinkle Star softly knocked on the door. Silently, Twinkle Star prayed her mother wouldn't hear her. A part of her didn't want to face the woman who had exiled her daughter for things she had not done. But a larger part of her knew she would never have peace unless she faced the woman behind these large wooden doors.

“Come in.” Her mother said from beyond the door. Her voice was still the same, Twinkle Star reflected, the same as it had always been: warm but strict, strong but kind. “Hello, mother.” Twinkle Star whispered as she looked at her mother sitting at a table lost in piles and piles of paperwork. The throne room was so large, so very royal compared to the small and friendly room in the old, small castle.

Regina dropped her quill on the floor when she saw her. Her mother had grown old, Twinkle Star noticed; her hair was slowly turning silver and her eyes looked like they had seen too much already.
“Twinkle Star...” Regina whispered when she walked towards her.
“Mother...”
“You came back...” Regina held her close, tighter than she ever had.

“Yea, I did... I missed you, mother.” Twinkle Star whispered.
 “I missed you too.” Regina said as she let go of her.
“Look at you. You look so much more mature and grown up than last time I saw you.”
“It has been more than four years now, mother.” Twinkle Star said.
“I know. It has been that long, hasn't it? Tell me... why did you come back?”

“Taira and Ruki asked me to. I agreed to help them.” Twinkle Star answered.
Regina didn't know about her wings. She had never told her, but now she'd have no choice. She had never expected to keep it a secret for so long, and now it was almost painful to admit she had been keeping this from her own mother for so long.

“You mean... you were what Taira and Ruki set out to find? But why?” Regina looked utterly confused, ans Twinkle Star couldn't blame her. “Because they needed me to save the world for you.” Twinkle Star smiled, revealing her wings. Regina gasped and took a few steps back as she saw the wings materialize on her daughter's back. So Taira had been right- it had only been her and Ruki who could see the wings. Only the true heirs, eh...

“My... but... how come... how long have you...”
“Since I was a few years old. One day, I can't even remember what happened... but I could summon them. I always knew it was special and rare, so I never dared to tell anyone until I knew more about it. When I was really small I was afraid everyone would find me weird and be scared of me, like they sometimes were of Stelline.

But later, when I grew older... I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't understand it and because I wanted to keep this a secret. Something of my own that no one else knew about, something no one suspected because it was unheard of. And after the eruption... When I met you again, finally after all those years of wandering, I was so used to hiding them that the thought of revealing them to you had never even occurred to me.”

Twinkle Star felt relieved she could finally be honest with her mother. She didn't want to lie or hide anymore. The thought of her children keeping something like this from her was almost unbearable.
“I'm sorry I never told you. I...”
“There's no need to apologize.” Regina smiled. “Children need to keep some things for themselves... secrets they do not want their parents to know. It's only natural. I'm glad you told me now, but don't ever think I would blame you for not doing so.”

Regina hugged her once more while Twinkle Star made her wings disappear.
“I'm so happy you came back.” She whispered.
“I have something for you. Meran made it. My daughter. She was sad she couldn't see you herself, so she made a drawing of our family.” Twinkle Star handed her mother the piece of paper.

Regina studied the drawing while her eyes got teary.
“Your family is beautiful, Twinkle Star. It really is. I'm so happy that you found happiness... you and Câlin. I feel like... I've felt so horrible after I banished her. I was so sure I'd never see either of you again.”
 “Well... I have to admit, for a long time I swore I'd never come back here. I was so angry and upset... But it all changed over time. When I grew to love my daughters so much, I felt it was impossible to keep being angry. The only thing left for me was that I didn't understand.”

Regina sighed deeply as she sat down at the table. “It wasn't because Aline's request was more important than your plea. Or that I thought it was completely justified. I knew very well Câlin didn't murder anyone out of her own free will. But she did steal the crown and bring it to Aras, which ultimately led to Junai's death. I do not really blame her for this... the girl was lonely and longing for a parent.

But I could not explain this to anyone else. Aline blamed Câlin, and with her a lot of ponies. Even now, I hear whispers blaming her for all that happened. It was not in my power to stop this, Twinkle Star. I could have spared Câlin and let you live here, but she would never been forgiven. All her life, ponies would look at her and blame her for making this all happen. So I thought it was best if she would leave. Not just for my country, but for Câlin also. I do not know it was the right decision. But seeing the burden Taira and Hikary still bear... I do not doubt that I was right in that ponies would always look at her as a traitor. I wanted to spare her that.”

Twinkle Star had a hard time finding the right words. She understood her mother's reasoning. She understood why her mother thought it had been the best thing to do... because she agreed that Câlin should not bear that burden. She had been only a girl longing for her father. But she couldn't feel it. Deep in her heart, she knew that she'd never be able to live with a decision like that, even if reason told her it was the best thing to do. How could she ever exile a little girl and thereby making her carry the blame?

But her mother was her mother. She was happy and relieved Regina had explained. After this was over, she'd go home, and she would probably never see her mother again. She wasn't planning on coming back here. She wouldn't pick a fight, because Regina would always stand by her decision; she wouldn't have made it if she hadn't been sure.

“Would you like a glass of wine? I will ask the servants to bring some to the living room, if you want. We can sit there and talk. I'd like to hear all about your family.” Regina offered.
“That would be lovely.” The prospect of a glass of wine was very appealing indeed- and so was a soft couch to sit in. Her body was tired, but she would sit and talk with her mother, because they both knew they had so much to tell and so little time to tell it in.

The corridor was dark, and Taira knew there would be toys everywhere, so she walked slowly. Ruki had gone to bed already. Her girl had been so tired from the journey, she could probably sleep for a week. Still, she had been happy Ruki had been with her- she probably would not have been able to handle everything so well on her own.

But before she could rest, there was someone waiting for her. Someone who could not wait until the next morning, for they had already been apart way too long. Almost tripping over a plush pony toy, Taira made her way through the corridor past Joyeux and Éclat's bedroom. The twins were fast asleep probably, for Taira didn't hear anything and saw no light. Well, it was late- way past children's bedtime. Would Frika even appreciate her waking her up?

She reached her daughter's bedroom without breaking anything and softly she opened the door. The curtains were closed, but the light of the faint moon shone through them anyway. She could hear Frika's soft and steady breathing. She smiled- everything was fine, like the maid had told her. Her daughter was fine, and they were finally together again.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and softly stroked her hair.
“I'm home, little one...” She whispered. She could feel Frika move a bit as she woke up.
 “Mommy?” The girl said softly, still half asleep.
“Yes. I'm here. I'm back.” Frika didn't get up, but instead shifted her body so that she could cuddle up against her.

“Finally. I missed you mommy.” She whispered as she almost fell asleep again on her lap.
“And I missed you. But I'm back now. And I'm not leaving again. I'm here for you.”
“Is sis here too?” Frika asked.
“Yes. Yes, she is. But she's asleep now, we're all really tired.” She patted Frika who was struggling to stay awake.

The girl yawned before she said “Daddy is here too.”
“I know he is. I told you he'd come, right? Do you like him?” Taira asked, suddenly sad that she hadn't been here when Frika met her father. She had missed so much...
“I don't know. I missed you.” Taira sighed. She'd been afraid of that- Frika had never liked strangers much, and she wasn't used to having a man around.

“I'm sure you will like him, dear. We're all together now. You, Ruki, your dad and me. I promise you, we won't be apart anymore now. I'll be there for you. Whenever you need me... I'll be there. I promise.”
“Okay. Can I go sleep now?”
Taira kissed her daughter on the head. “Of course you can. I'll see you tomorrow morning, my love.”

Frika turned around again and Taira tucked her in, making sure her girl would be warm before she left the room. Before she walked away she looked at her daughter falling asleep in the darkness. Her chest felt so warm it almost burned.
“Little Frika.... I promise, I will always be there for you. I won't make the same mistake twice.”

Taira wondered if Fjaril would be awake still. She hadn't even gone to see him, even though the maid had told her where his room was. Would he already be asleep? Fjaril usually didn't go to sleep that early, even though he might have adjusted to life in the castle already. Did he like it here? Was he getting along with everyone?

Taira decided she wouldn't wait. She wanted to see him. She couldn't wait to start her life with her family until the next morning- finally, after such a long time, everyone she cared for was together, and their future was theirs. There were no more stones, no more missing ponies out there that needed her. Her future was hers, and her family was with her.